The brain
The limbic brain
This part makes up the emotional brain, which are the same in humans and all other mammals. It is responsible for emotions and survival responses. The amygdala is responsible for the feeling of fear.
The emotional brain takes care of psychological well-being and body physiology such as heart function, high blood pressure, hormones, digestive and immune systems.
The cognitive brain
The new cortex (neocortex) developed during evolution and is what distinguishes us from the rest of the mammals. It regulates perception, language, and rational thinking.
Both parts of the brain
The emotional brain, when under excessive stress, has the ability to shut down the cognitive brain, allowing reflexes to take over. So when we are anxious, we can’t think clearly, or when we are angry, we can’t reason rationally. When both parts are in harmony, the emotional brain can provide the energy and gives direction while the cognitive brain ensures the execution.
Emotional intelligence
Emotional intelligence can be defined by four points.
- ability to recognize one’s own emotional state and that of others.
- the ability to understand the natural course of emotions (as in chess)
- the ability to reason and judge one’s own feelings and those of others
- the ability to deal properly with one’s own feelings and those of others.
These are the foundations of self-control and social success. They underlie self-awareness, restraint, empathy, cooperativeness, and the ability to resolve conflict.
Example: stressed and overworked person is tired and eats fast food for emotional comfort. They are not really hungry but can’t distinguish that she needs mental rest and sleep. Those who have learned to cope with stress usually do not have weight problems. They have learned to listen to their bodies, recognize their feelings, and respond intelligently.
The Heart-Brain-System
The emotional brain is directly connected to the heart by the nerve systme. As a result, they influence each other. When the emotional brain signals stress through neurotransmitters, it changes heartbeat, blood pressure, etc. The autonomic nervous system aims to achieve a balance between symapthicus and parasympathetic nervous system in order to achieve coherence. Coherence is a high variability in heart rate. This facilitates the activity of the cognitive brain. If there is no variability, then it brings serious risks in physical health.
The parasympathetic nervous system should be trained to increase variability.
Negative feelings like stress, fear, anger cause chaos.
Positive feelings such as gratitude, joy and love promote coherence.
Meditation focusing on heartbeat or breathing also promotes coherence. Praying has a similar effect as gratitude is present. Coherence training also exists.
The body, nutrition and methods
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR).
In trauma, it seems that a part of the cognitive brain cannot connect with the parts of the emotional brain that are scarred by the trauma. These scars continue to trigger painful feelings. The images, sounds, emotions are anchored and have no connection to the cognitive brain and thus cannot be rationalized. These are indelible. The alertness of the cognitive brain controls the emotional brain and the emotional states. If the alertness decreases (for example due to alcohol consumption), then we lose control and anxiety take over.
EMDR is a method to process traumatic events. The eye movement is comparable to the eye movement in the sleep phase while we are dreaming. The neural pathways are activated and are able to connect to the cognitive network. This allows the information to be processed by the cognitive brain and the memory to be viewed rationally.
Body functions and inner clock
Sleep is important, especially the dream phase just before waking. The brain is just as active as when awake, but the body is completely relaxed. After sleep, cortisol, a stress hormone for the metabolism that breaks down, is released. This also follows a 24 h rhythm. Body temperature is lowest in the morning, rises towards the end of the day’s activity, and drops again in the evening.
It is important to have a routine in the daily life. The body functions are like an orchestra. If one gets out of sync, it’s no longer an interplay. For example, if you get up at 7 a.m. in your routine, your cortisol level goes up. If you go to bed at 4 o’clock on the weekend after partying, cortisol is still released at 7 a.m. because of your internal clock. After getting up at 12 noon, you feel woozy because of it.
The hypothalamus is sensitive to light. When light is present, cortisol is released and body temperature rises. Light therapy helps against binge eating, reduces appetite for carbohydrates, stabilizes menstrual cycle.
Tibetan medicine
In the Western world it is said that the mental state affects physically well-being. The mental problem manifests in the body through exhaustion, high blood pressure and so on. However, in the Southeast Asian world, it is said that the physical problem triggers feelings such as sadness, joylessness and loss of self-esteem.
In the Tibetan medicine, Qi means life energy, which regulates a balance between the mental and physical. It can be influenced with meditation, diet and acupuncture. In fact, there are studies that prove activities in the brain through acupuncture.
Omega-3 fatty acids
The brain is made up of two-thirds fatty acids and are the basic building blocks of the membrane of nerve cells. Polyunsaturated fatty acids such as omega-3 fatty acids are liquid at room temperature, so communication between nerve cells runs more smoothly. When deprived, anxiety and stress increase. It also decreases the ability to learn and feel pleasure. When consumed daily, the production of serotonin is stimulated. Thus, good mood is promoted.
For an antidepressant effect, the amount of eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA) should be higher than docosahexaenoic acid (DHA). Vitamin E intake protects against oxidation of fats.
Traditional versus modern medicine
Traditional medicine have been around for several thousand years. Why shouldn’t they have the same value as modern medicine?
Medicaments and antibiotics are revolutionary that effectively treat inflammation and acute diseases. A doctor is trained to diagnose diseases and assign patients to the right treatments. Against chronic diseases such as stress and depression, medications work faster, but are not sustainable. This is where doctors reach their limits.
Sports and jogging
Endorphins are messenger substances and dock onto the endorphin receptors. As a result, they stimulate pleasure and the feeling of satisfaction. When drugs like opium are used, these receptors dull, making it difficult for us to feel pleasure. This is what makes the drug so dangerous, as it quickly causes us to lose the meaning of life.
Physical exertion, on the other hand, naturally releases endorphins. The receptors seem to become more receptive to it, making it much easier to feel pleasure. Therefore, sport has a great impact against depression, which is defined by the “absence of joy”.
With regular exercise, anxiety, self-doubt reduces and the immune system is strengthened.
Sometimes we get into negative thought spirals. Due to the constant repetition of the thoughts, the sufferer thinks that they are normal. The thoughts become the norm and we see it as absolute truth. Sport can break such thought spirals, which is the first step in reprogramming the brain. Joggers report that after 15-20 minutes, spontaneous positive thoughts and creativity occur. This phenomen is also known as the “High.”
Affective relationships
An affective relationship with or from others touches us deeply. The feeling of connection with our closest people is one of the strongest needs, which is why we have to be all the more considerate to fulfill it.
This is designed by evolution, as being part of a community drastically increased the chances of survival.
Emotional contact is essential for the growth of children. Various studies show that children have little chance of survival without emotional contact. The emotional brain atrophies, probably irreversibly. The mother’s presence regulates the child’s heart rate, body temperature, immune system, high blood pressure and many other processes. When parents have empathy and respond to a child’s needs, they become more resilient to stress and depression in adulthood.
People who feel loved by their partner have, on average, half as many risk factors (such as elevated cholesterol, high blood pressure, stress) as those who do not feel valued. This applies to all of our emotional relationships, such as with parents, children, or our pets.
When relationships are disrupted, many of our body functions suffer. The pain can be much greater than the physical pain.
Emotional communication
The first thing to mention is that there is no such thing as a constant stable relationship between two people - at least not without chronic conflicts. If a relationship has no conflicts at all, then the relationship is not real. There is emotional distance so conflicts can be avoided.
When there is conflict, the brain is flooded with emotions, the cognitive brain is shut down. Accordingly, we can no longer think rationally and we enter the mode of attack or defense in our conversation.
Three main causes contribute to the emergence of conflict.
- criticism - “You are late again. You are not reliable at all.” Phrasing this as a complaint or request gives a completely different perspective: “You’re late again. I don’t feel like you take me seriously enough and it makes me feel like I’m not important. Could you stick to the time we both agreed on?”
- contempt - “Your behavior is absolutely ridiculous.” Such statements hit us hard and make solution-finding almost impossible. How to remain reasonable when the person signals disgust?
- withdrawal - Verbal attacks leave deep marks, so we withdraw and distance ourselves emotionally to avoid further injury. We don’t respond and do not approach again to avoid conflict.
Emotional communication ensures that both conversational partners each meet their needs without overstepping the other’s boundaries. One gets what one wants and in return one gives what the other needs.
There are 2 principles for this:
- objectivity in judgment - “Your cooked food doesn’t taste good.” The more detailed and objective we approach the judgment as with “The potatoes are not cooked and salt is missing”, the more understanding the other person has. The latter is more open to the constructive criticism.
- focus on your own feelings - In a conflict in a human relationship, it is not about winning the discussion through rational argumentation. It is about understanding what emotions the other person has. You tell what happened objectively and convey how you felt yourself. This allows for better cooperation than attacking the other person.
Self-development and sense of community
In today’s world, personal development plays a central role. We want to be independent and free. This independence can also lead to isolation and loneliness. As mentioned earlier, the essence of life is emotional contact with people. Meaninglessness and despair are easier to overcome when you take on a role, for example, as a parent. The happiest people have more stable relationships and are anchored in a community. Be it at work, in a sports club or in the family - belonging awakens a sense of connection and is essential for the emotional brain.
Humanistic psychologist Abraham Maslow makes the statement that self-fulfillment and dedication to the good of the community are not contradictory. Through personal development, one becomes a better version of oneself, and thus can better serve the community. One can contribute more to society by improving oneself.
Summary
- bringing control over one’s inner life - By regulating the heart rhythm with EMDR, meditation, diet, physical activity, maintaining the biological clock and acupuncture.
- reflecting on which painful events in the past arouse the emotions in the present - these are the origin of all chronic conflicts. Emotional communication helps in conflict resolution.
- deeper sense of how and why we want to realize ourselves and what role we want to play in our society.
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